Excuse me, Chris Matthews? "I forgot he was black tonight for an hour"? What the hell kind of racist statement was that, cracka? Is it the fact he can articulate his thoughts and feelings? Did you forget he was black because at no point while he was speaking did you fear for your life? Did you forget he was black because he didn't have a gun in your face? You ain't fooling anyone, grand wizard. The president of your country is a black man, and some sh*t's about to change up in here!!
chris-matthews-forget-he-was-black
Showing posts with label Political News. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Political News. Show all posts
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Obama Gives Haitian Kids A Tweet
"After leaving one station where workers monitored Twitter messages, Obama said he had just "tweeted." He said it was the first time he had done so." -The Washington Post
Now what the Associated Press didn't report was the actual message itself. Fortunately, here at the god-if-this-doesn't-just-scream-hire-me Onion News Network, we happen to have the actual message relayed by President Obama. It reads as follows:
"Children of little #Haiti (am I really in Miami?), do not let the scariness of that little earthquake shake you like that little earthquake shook you. I 2, know what it's like to grow up in a rough neighborhood. The streets of Papau New Guinea were not paved with gold either, my brother's orphaned children. Life is filled with difficult decisions that we all must make. I made my share. Like which variety of fruit juice to have after breakfast, or which pair of beach sandals I should wade into the ocean with, or ... ahh screw it, we just lost Massachusetts and I got bigger problems than rebuilding a 3rd world country in the western hemisphere!!"
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/01/19/AR2010011901414.html
Now what the Associated Press didn't report was the actual message itself. Fortunately, here at the god-if-this-doesn't-just-scream-hire-me Onion News Network, we happen to have the actual message relayed by President Obama. It reads as follows:
"Children of little #Haiti (am I really in Miami?), do not let the scariness of that little earthquake shake you like that little earthquake shook you. I 2, know what it's like to grow up in a rough neighborhood. The streets of Papau New Guinea were not paved with gold either, my brother's orphaned children. Life is filled with difficult decisions that we all must make. I made my share. Like which variety of fruit juice to have after breakfast, or which pair of beach sandals I should wade into the ocean with, or ... ahh screw it, we just lost Massachusetts and I got bigger problems than rebuilding a 3rd world country in the western hemisphere!!"
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/01/19/AR2010011901414.html
Crossing Over with John Edwards
So John Edwards admitted to being the father today. My question is, how could a psychic medium with a once-popular TV show not foresee the trouble that was coming inside his mistress? It certainly makes me wonder about the authenticity of his show. You’d think by communicating in the afterlife with Rob Lowe’s career, it would’ve warned him about the dangers of sex with videographers. Sources claim the two Democrats were strongly considering an abortion until Edwards began having nightmares about communicating with the dead infant. Now THAT's crossing over (the line) indeed!
But seriously, the onetime Democratic candidate for President is now just another “baby’s daddy”, further propagating the Democratic stereotype. In what had to be the worst-kept secret since Tom Cruise announced he was gay (still hasn’t happened?), or Mark McGwire injected, ingested, and secreted steroids from his m&m-sized testicles, Mr. Edwards finally manned up and admitted to fathering a love child by former campaign videographer Reille Hunter. For those concerned with the strain this may have on his marriage to wife Elizabeth, he defended his actions by emphatically stating this had absolutely no negative impact on her battle with stage 3 obesity. And even though he and his wife haven’t spoken in months, he WILL be communicating with her on his show REAL soon.
Of course, Edwards may retract his admission tomorrow by claiming he was just channeling his inner Ted Kennedy ("And yes, I left Mary Jo Kopechne for dead"). Nice to hear from you again Teddy...
But seriously, the onetime Democratic candidate for President is now just another “baby’s daddy”, further propagating the Democratic stereotype. In what had to be the worst-kept secret since Tom Cruise announced he was gay (still hasn’t happened?), or Mark McGwire injected, ingested, and secreted steroids from his m&m-sized testicles, Mr. Edwards finally manned up and admitted to fathering a love child by former campaign videographer Reille Hunter. For those concerned with the strain this may have on his marriage to wife Elizabeth, he defended his actions by emphatically stating this had absolutely no negative impact on her battle with stage 3 obesity. And even though he and his wife haven’t spoken in months, he WILL be communicating with her on his show REAL soon.
Of course, Edwards may retract his admission tomorrow by claiming he was just channeling his inner Ted Kennedy ("And yes, I left Mary Jo Kopechne for dead"). Nice to hear from you again Teddy...
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