Spaced Cowboys

NASA found cocaine in a facility that houses the space shuttle Discovery and is now launching an investigation instead of a shuttle! Why are the drug cartels so far ahead of the authorities? Let me tell you what the investigation is going to uncover:
The South American cartels are now moving the shit thru the Russian space program, paying the government large sums of money to do so. The Russians (in desperate need of money in a faltering economy) store the coke in the International Space Station until the American astronauts arrive. The "docking station" is where the interplanetary drop takes place. The coke is loaded aboard one of NASA's shuttles (usually the shuttle Columbian) and brought back to the sandy shores of Florida by rogue Mission Specialists. Let's see the US Coast Guard try and board a fuckin' space shuttle with search dogs!
And before you say, "there's no way American astronauts are crazy enough to be drug mules", I submit to you the insane Houston-to-Orlando diaper-wearing astronaut Lisa Nowak. She was only plotting to kidnap and MURDER her coworker. You really think all that was about a bizarre love triangle? No way, that was a drug deal gone bad. You boil a rabbit in someone's kitchen in a love triangle, but you fuckin' put two in the back of the head if they cross you on a coke deal.  Flores para las muertas, puta!!!

NASA's Smugglers Blues - Huffington Post