TSA Confessional

An eight-year-old boy from New Jersey has been getting frisked “up and down his arms, up his crotch” since the age of two and the governing authority allows this to continue? When I first saw this story I wasn’t sure if the king of pop still walked among us (the rumors of MJ faking his own death suddenly seemed more credible) or the Catholic church would soon have to relocate another priest to a distant state (you know, the old “find the priest in the shell” game).
   I felt a little better when I learned that the Cub Scout from Clifton, NJ just happened to be on a Transportation Security Administration watch list and is frequently patted down by TSA agents at the airport. I felt better until I read that hundreds of defrocked priests, now looking for work in these tough economic times, have offered their talents to the TSA. It’s so difficult for priests to gain employment these days without getting oral praise from the Archbishop that many are turning to airports as a new source of job satisfaction. With the amount of rewarding jobs in steady decline, a scandal involving kickbacks and dirty dealings has rocked the church recently (link to the article, “Priests finding it hard to get ahead without greasing the Bishop”) causing a substantial drop-off in the numbers of their targeted demographic (five to 14 year old boys).
However, while one door closes another back door seems to be opening. Defrocked priests hired as screening agents are so anxious to get their hands on their wands and begin the titillating screening process that many are leaving their rectories behind in search of a more stimulating career.

The Catholic Boat