In Defense of My Religion

   A friend of mine was lamenting the situation in Haiti the other day when, out of nowhere, he began taking shots at Christianity. And I, a staunchly apathetic Catholic, may have gotten somewhat offended. So when he said, "Here's a question for the so-called Christians. What would Jesus do? Would he say 'Screw the Haitians'?"
   I replied, "Well as a Jew, Jesus would negotiate a much better aid package for the Haitians. Pocketing a hefty fee, of course.  Then he'd hop in the Gulfstream G5 and jet on back to Boca for dinner with the partners to discuss HOW the firm would screw the Haitians.  Not WOULD, but HOW."
   I don't think he liked my reply.  He shot back with, "We gave $100 to Hope for Haiti.  What have you contributed?"
   Without hesitation I blurted, "We adopted two small Haitian children! Who, your $100, could've fed for six months.  Although I will admit, I now see why Brangelina went to Africa to buy theirs (a little cleaner, the Namibians)."
   Nevertheless, I poked fun at the Jews and became closer to two small children.  I think my priest would've been proud...